Everyone loves lawyer jokes. But did you know that lawyers are the best at making fun of their own profession? Here is my list of the best short lawyer jokes culled from over 35 years as a practicing attorney.
1. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
2. What do you call 1000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!
3. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? The caterer.
4. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
5. How do you greet a lawyer with an IQ of 50? “Good morning, your honor.”
6. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. The other is a fish.
7. How does a pregnant woman know that she is carrying a future lawyer? She has an extreme craving for baloney.
8. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The balance are documented case histories.
9. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
10. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Have a short lawyer joke you want to share? Well, let’s hear it!
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